Raising Magnolias

Save a Horse….You Know The Rest.

He says “So, when’s the launch?”

Body Pump 84.

“Valentine’s or Superbowl weekend.”

Then with equal parts sarcasm and woe-is-me-ness, I continue. “I really hope it’s not over Valentine’s, because I am very busy that weekend.”

He looks at me. Another Greg. A happily married, sun is always shining, never give up on love, Greg. And he says, “Hey! You never know. Glass half-full!”

What? Did he just remind me of glass half-full? I’m an eternal optimist. Nobody ever has to remind me of that.

‘Wait!” I wanted to say. ” My glass is always half-full.”

Well, sorta.

I suppose it’s possible that my fremont village might be getting a different vibe.

Maybe it’s the in-between track comments. 

Slamming Kelly Clarkson and her ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’

Maybe it’s the jokes about an imaginary target when the weight goes bam. When the fist goes punch.

When the kicks go jab.

Hmmm. When did I let my glass go dry?

What happened to Myra Katherine glass-always-full? Why doesn’t Body Pump Greg know that girl?

They know the “I can’t live for one more day in the yellow house” girl.

They know the “I can’t stand this place because everybody and their dog smokes even on school property which is crazy ridiculous” girl.

They know the “I’m getting divorced— it’s taking forever—maybe never getting divorced” girl.

But they don’t know me.  Myra Katherine.

Optimist. Sunny-side up. Glass very full.

Myra Katherine wearing the crown.

Myra Katherine who went to Miss America.

And wore this.

Myra Katherine whose glass was so full, she actually thought she could be Miss America.

I posted the picture on facebook in honor of Miss America weekend. And then I deleted it.

I don’t like looking at it. I don’t know that person anymore.

My High School English teacher whom I adored wrote to me —

“It’s not the tiara that makes the princess.”

I know that.

When I did I forget?

And where the HALE  is that girl?

And where is my tiara?

Last week I introduced a new track for biceps. Old song was Kelly Clarkson. Stronger.

I loved that song.

And then I didn’t.

And then I thought if that girl tells me one.more.time. how strong I’m getting, I’m gonna throw-up.

On her.

So I say, “OK, y’all! New track!  A new theme song for 2013!” 

And I push play.

We lift. Up and down and up and down.

And then I listen to the words.

And I listen closer.

And a friend toward the back is starting to laugh.

And then I start to laugh.

And I’m teaching and I’m lifting and the head of the YMCA is in my class.

And I hear it.

Save a horse. Ride a cowboy.

I’ve just told a class of 30 that for me—

2013

Was about saving horses.

And riding cowboys.

It had sounded so much better in my head.

Saving cowboys.

And riding horses.

The difference is significant.

And I hadn’t meant to say theme….I had meant just “new”

The track ends. We stretch.

I try to explain—you know— about riding horses and saving cowboys and I’m making it worse and people are laughing and I know they are thinking “who is this person?” and the voice in my head screams, STOP TALKING!

But I love microphones. Really. I really love them. And I keep talking and—

Instead of crying; instead of  just dying.

Right there. On the spot.

I laughed. And later I was still able to laugh.

And today nothing is better. Not on paper. Not in real life.

Not better.

But I feel better. And my hope is in the Lord.

Not horses.

Not cowboys.

And the princess?

Well, she’s on her way back.

I know there’s gotta be a crown around here somewhere.  And a wand. I need a wand.

Wait. I need to focus.

Oh yes. The truth?

My cup?

Well, it overflows.