Disney, body pump, legos and my black friend who’s actually white.
(This is what happens when a Momma actually gets to sleep!)
Scientists say we dream every night.
But scientist have been wrong about a lot of things.
Remember the low-fat/high-carb diet in the early 90’s that made us all fat?
Turns out you can’t eat 4 bagels a day and expect to lose weight.
I miss bagels.
And then there’s the whole KABOOM! A monkey just fell from the sky thing, but I’m not really smart enough to take you there. And so I won’t.
I never dream. Possibly because I rarely sleep. It’s a mom-thing.
But last night I slept. And I dreamt.
Or is it dreamed?
I woke up around 11:50. I had taken an advil congestion at 8:30 so I was racked with guilt about taking another one. I’m a rule-follower and the box says every four hours. I do the math.
I can’t wait until 12:30.
I take the Advil.
And then I went to Disney World.
I haven’t been to Disney World since 1995, but my children get to go quite often so I was excited to be there. I’m standing in line with my friend and I notice, strangely enough, that my white friend is now black.
We are having to sign in and it’s the Body Pump sign-in sheet and they won’t let me sign in for my friend and there are all these people and they’re fighting for a body pump bar and we get separated.
I walk into the gates of Disney and I see a bed. And again with the moms never sleep thing, if you see your chance, you take it!
So I climb in and I sleep.
I wake up.
I’ve lost my friend.
Coulter’s friend’s Dad is following me around and I keep telling him that I have a meeting with my co-worker.
Who is really my friend.
Who is at Disney.
Who used to be white.
And there is no meeting.
And the dad says, “I’m guessing you weigh about 125”
Uhm. No. But weird that you would guess.
(And I dreamt that because it really happened. Yesterday. For real. In real life.)
And I text my friend. I can’t find him.
And there are people everywhere.
So of course we run into my brother.
And his big farm truck.
And I’m holding Emma Claire and we are doing those circle things (donuts?) in the mud and yelling Wheee!
The yee-haw version of a Disney ride.
Legos start flying out of my brother’s truck.
As we stop to get them, we ‘re in a neighborhood and this older woman and man come running out and steal the legos.
“I’m calling the police!” I yell at her.
And I do.
And she returns the legos.
Seriously. You do not mess with Coulter’s legos.
And I find my friend and he’s white again and my brother’s back in Arkansas but we somehow missed Body Pump and I’m worried that I’m going to gain ten pounds and then Coulter’s Dad’s friend will be right and then I wake up.
For real this time.
And it’s 8:15.
8:15 IN THE MORNING.
This momma slept until 8:15!!!
And I sing a little happy opera and then it hits that I really did miss body pump and I’m a little bummed but then I sing my happy opera song again and I give thanks for the gift of sleep.
And white friends and black friends and brothers with cool toys.
And I think about all the hours and hours and hours of lego-building and relationship building and separating parts and reading directions and lining up little star wars guys and building a ladder that reaches just almost to the top of the bunk bed and the zip line that they slide across to avoid the hot lava below and I give thanks for the gift of remembering—
We don’t need Disney.
We need lego days and book days and coloring out of the line days. We need balls. Footballs, soccer balls, basketballs.
And we need to fix the picture frame that fell during yesterday’s indoor volleyball game.
That’s where we play volleyball in the living room and we don’t use our inside voices and we occasionally knock things off the wall.
Oh and I need a bagel. I seriously need a bagel.