Raising Magnolias

Because it's never too late for happily ever after…

10 Things You Need to know if Your Children have a Stepmother.

Some One I trust shared this with me. And I’m sharing it with you.

First. This was written by someone who fell in love with a Single Divorced Dad. If your children have a stepmother who broke up your home and tore apart your family, then you have my permission to hate her. Just kidding.

We can’t hate people.

God knows there’s enough of that, already.

Second. This is just one story. It resonates close to my heart, but the Some One who wrote and yours truly who’s sharing, would certainly concede that this is not every story.

So. With that. I share this. 10 things you need to know if your children have a stepmother.

  1. She never wanted to become a stepmother. No little girl grows up, playing dolls while dreaming of becoming a step-anything. Even Disney thinks Stepmoms are wicked. This was not her plan. Which brings me to point #2.
  2. Plans fall apart.
  3. And marriages fall apart. Or are torn apart. Regardless. This. And only this. Is the reason your children have a Stepmother. Because your marriage fell apart.
  4. I have three children.  Two are living. I am their mom. They are my only children.
  5. I do not consider myself a bonus Mom to your children. I think that term is stupid. You children don’t need a bonus mom.
  6. I do love your children, however. Quite a lot. And I’m proud of them. And I’m cheering for them. In life. I’m cheering. And be certain of this. I will always do so and I will be loud.
  7. I don’t have the same emotional attachment to your children as I do to my own and I don’t feel guilty about that. God created a deep and lasting bond between mom and child. Yours is a special relationship. Nothing. Not divorce. Not remarriage. Nothing. Can ever change that.
  8. And while we’re on the subject, I don’t want, have never wanted to change that.
  9. Your children are incredibly loyal. To you. And their Dad. I do not expect  or desire this same loyalty. But know that it’s there. For their Dad. Don’t expect them to hate their Dad simply because you hate me.
  10. I know that you hate me.
  11. Your children need time alone with their Dad.  I respect that. I encourage that. I work hard to ensure that.
  12. Grandchildren. Remember what I said about not having the same emotional attachment to your children? Strangely, it doesn’t apply with Grandchildren. I have two. I am ridiculously, crazy in love with my grand babies .
  13. Your children don’t have to call me their stepmom. I’m their Dad’s wife. And being a Mom and a Wife and a Mimi. Well. It’s enough.

Yes. I know that was #13.  I suck at Math. Therefore I do promise to never  teach your children math. I will leave math to the professionals and parenting to their Dad.


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